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Assalaamu Alaikum Brother. I am a Muslim in Europe, and have a specific question about Naseeb in Islam according to marriage. The question is very simple, but I really hope that you can give me an answer that goes into details, so I and others do not get any misunderstandings. Here is a little about me, so you can understand my question perfectly- I am a man, almost ready to be married. just waiting to get graduated. Al-Hamdulilah, I am a Multazim (active?) Muslim; I pray, I fast, I help and I am good to my closest. I even go to the local Mosque and pray all night at Fridays’. I am a man full of patience, so I am not hurrying up for anything but Jannah, but even that I am a active/good Muslim- I am still a human, so I have fallen in love with a girl. Here is my question: Are Marriage in Islam written for a man, and if so, is it the specific woman that is written or is it just the fact that a man will be married in a written time? Closer to my situation: Can the girl I love, SPECIFICALLY be written for me, or should I wait for my destiny? I will love to hear your answer, and to make Islam more known for me.
Answer: ASSALAAMU ALAIKUMW.B Both person and time are written by Allaah. However, if she is Islamic and if what you love in her, are things all according to Qur’aan and Sunnah - then she could have been wriiten for you Inshaa Allaah.
Qurbani / Sacrifice
Question: How should Qurbani be performed?
Answer:
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) taught Muslims the way of remembering the act of
Ibrahim A.S.. He stayed 10 years in Madina and performed sacrifice at
Eid-ul-Adha. (Tirmidhi) Qurbani in Islamic terms means the slaughtering of an
animal with the intention of getting close to Allah (SWT) by giving some or all
of the meat to the poor and destitute. Animals that can be sacrificed are
goats, cows and camels. They are sacrificed on the day of Eid-ul-Adha and also
on the three days after (the 11, 12 and 13th of Dhulhijjah).
Distributing The Meat
Giving charity to the poor by contributing and distributing the meat to them
and the destitute. These acts would spread happiness and cheers amongst them
especially during the festival of Eid-ul-Adha where Muslims are in the spirit
of festivities.
Who should do Qurbani
Person who possesses Nisab (zakatable asset) should do Qurbani. It is not
obligatory (fard) but is highly recommended (wajib)*, according to the Hanafi
school of thought. However, Qurbani is a Sunnah act according to the Shafi,
Hanbali, Maliki, and Jafari schools of thought.
Animals for Qurbani
The animals to be slaughtered must be a goat, sheep, cattle (cow, ox, water
buffalo), or camel. Goats and sheep have to be at least one year old.For cows
the age must be at least two years old. Camels must be at least five years old.
Goats and sheep count as one share per animal. Cattle and camels count as seven
shares per animal. They must be free from any form of handicap such as blind,
sick, limp and undernourished. It also must be free of any defects such as a
cut-off ear, tail, broken teeth,or broken horn. However, the goat/sheep can be
used if only a few teeth are broken and most teeth are still intact. In
addition, if its horn is broken midway and not from the root, it is
persmissible to use such an animal. Injuries sustained during the qurbani do
not invalidate the qurbani. The animals must be slaughtered in the appropriate
humane ways. It has to be done by a Muslim adhering to the Islamic way of
slaughtering the animal.
Time of Qurbani
The time for Qurbani starts from sunrise after the performance of the Eidul
Adha prayers which falls on the 10th of Zhulhijjah till the sunsets on the 12th
of Zhulhijjah. The best time is to perform the acts of Qurbani immediately
after the completion of the Eid-ul-Adha prayers. It was reported that the
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: The first thing that we do on the day of Eid is
to perform the prayers. Then we go home and carry out our Qurbani. Thus,
whoever does those deeds have conformed to our sunnah.
ABILITY TO PERFORM HAJJ
Question:What does ability for Hajj mean?
Answer: The ability to perform Hajj, is one of its essential condition.
1. A person must be healthy and physically fit. If one is disabled by old age or a disease that is incurable or is unable to perform Hajj for some other similar reason, he may, if he is financially capable, assign someone else to perform Hajj on his behalf and at his expense.
2. The journey to Hajj must be safe so that the pilgrim’s life and possessions are safe and secure from any danger. If one is afraid for one’s life from highwaymen or an epidemic or if one is afraid to be robbed of one’s possessions, then such a one is deemed as one of those who cannot afford the journey for Hajj. There is, however, a difference of opinion among scholars regarding the entry fees and other charges levied on pilgrims. Can a person be excused and reckoned as unable financially to perform Hajj because of these charges? AshShafi’i and others are of the view that the presence of these levies does qualify a person to be classified as unable to perform Hajj, even though the levy involved may be paltry. The Maliki scholars disagree for they do not regard this as a sufficient reason for a person to be deemed as unable to perform Hajj, unless the amount involved is too exorbitant or is demanded repeatedly.
3. One must possess the necessary provision and also the requisite means of journey. Necessary provision here means that the intending pilgrim must have sufficient supplies for himself as well as for his family that he leaves behind. These supplies include sufficient and adequate clothing, housing, means of traveling, and tools for the pursuit of his trade or profession besides the financial means for the journey. (The person intending to perform Hajj should not sell his clothes, his personal belongings, or his house—even if they were abundant to get money for Hajj). Means of traveling imply that which enables him to go to Hajj and come back, whether it is by land, by sea, or by air. This concerns those who live far from Makkah and cannot walk there. As for those who live in the vicinity of Makkah, this condition does not apply, for they are so close that they can go for Hajj on foot. Some Ahadith explain the Qur’anic words “those who can afford the journey,” (Qur’an 3.97) as meaning provision of food and means of journey. Anas reports that the Prophet (peace be upon him) when once asked about the meaning of “those who can afford” said: “It means possessing means of sustenance and transportation.” Allah says in the Qur’ an: “Pilgrimage thereto is a duty men owe to Allah - those who can afford the journey.”
REFERENCE/EXCERPTS FROM FIQH-S-SUNNAH
NOTE: Children who have the ability should do the Hajj for parents, who do not have the health or wealth to perform the Hajj-or for parents who have passed away.
HADITH:
Hazrat Ibn ‘Abbas narrates that a woman from the tribe of Johainah came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said: “My mother had vowed to perform Hajj but she died before fulfilling her vow, should I perform Hajj on her behalf? The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Yes, perform Hajj on her behalf. Would you not pay off any debts your mother might have left behind upon her death? Pay off what you owe to Allah, for He is most deserving of settlement of His debt.” (Bukhaari)
Allaah Knows Best
My Husband Has Excellent Knowledge in Islam
but
Behaves Badly
like
HITTING-BITING-CURSING
-Questioner: Sana / Country: Poland
Question: Assalaamu AIaikum. I am very much worried about my husband’s attitude towards me and my kid. Always he’s in an aggressive mood. The moment I speak on any general issue he shouts fiercely and starts fighting, for no reason he literally picks up quarrel and creates a big issue. He hits us very badly and sometimes even bleeds. When asked, he replies just to make you people strong, bold etc. He says, he feels happy, and his heart gets satisfied when he give pain. He has developed an evil habit that he is addicted to porn. He’s trapped in this world for many years. I tried convincing him in a very pleasing and in wise manner, but it didn’t materialize. In fact, he behaves very badly like hitting, biting and cursing. Though he has an excellent knowledge in Deen- he never follow, instead says no one in this world is following the right path. Unfortunately, my in-laws and my mother are not alive. I have a father, but he married again and doesn’t bother us. To our bad luck, my husband is the elder son and myself, elder daughter- hence there is no chance to seek help from family. Although our relatives are well qualified, they never try to help me to come out from this drastic situation, all are money minded! Therefore, I request you to suggest me how do I convince my husband to stop watching adult movies as well to stop his violent treatment with us. I will be thankful to you, if you would reply.
Answer: Your husband probably knows a lot about Islam, but doesn't know how to treat a wife according to the teachings of Islam. Please remind him of the following references from Qur'aan and Hadith - if he still continues to abuse you, then you should seek advice from a local Sheikh or Imaam who can either counsel him or get you a divorce from him, Inshaa Allaah. Marriage in Islam is suppose to bringtranquility to the soul and peace to the mind, so that man and woman may live together in an atmosphere of love, mercy, harmony, cooperation, mutual advice and tolerance. In the Holy Qur’aan Ch:30 V:21 "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts]: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect."
Hadith: “This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this word is a righteous woman.”
(Muslim)
Islam recommends men to treat women well, and gives them a status that they have never enjoyed in any other religion. The Prophet (S.A.W.) gave many recommendations concerning women, to the extent that he described the man who treats his wife well as being one of the best and among the elite of his Ummah.
May/2011
Is This Divorce Valid
Questioner: Mubarak
Country: Canada
Category: Islam
Private: No
Subject: Divorce
Question: Is this divorce certificate issued by an
Islamic Hakim/Judge valid? A husband in a very heated argument with his wife
'very angrily' on her demand writes a divorce note for the wife. After they
have calmed down, they regretted what had happened and later they both visit an
Islamic educator who reconciles them on the basis of the Hadith in Ibn Majah.
The exalted Prophet (S.A.W) is reported to have said, "La talaqa fil
Ighlaq" - There is absolutely no divorce under any kind of duress,
coercion, suddenness, anger etc. Both the Husband and Wife reconciled and
willingly agreed to go back to their marriage and they lived together as
married couples. After a few months, they had another quarrel. Can the wife now use that same old divorce
note that was written months back and take it to a Hakim/Judge and seek a
divorce certificate? Is that divorce note still valid even after they have been
reconciled and consummated their marriage? And if this Hakim/judge issues this
woman a divorce certificate based on that note without consulting or
communicating in any way with the Husband and stating in his divorce
certificate that the husband has divorced his wife based on the divorce note
given to him by the wife. Is this divorce certificate issued by the Hakim/Judge
valid? Thanking you in advance for taking your time to read and respond.
Answer:That divorce would not be valid.
ALLAAH KNOWS BEST
January 2011
“AMEEN” in Salaah
Loud or Softly
Question: What is the law on saying “AMEEN” after Surah Fatiha in Salaah?
Answer: It is sunnah for everyone to say ‘ameen after reciting al-Fatihah. The word “Ameen” is not part of al-Fatihah, but rather a supplication meaning, “O Allah, respond (to or answer what we have said). It should be said aloud in the prayers where the recital is aloud, and quietly in the prayers where the recital is silent. Said Na’eem al-Mujamir, “I prayed behind Abu Hurairah and he said, ‘In the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful,’ then recited al-Fatihah, and closed it with ‘ameen. The people also said ‘ameen. After the prayer, Abu Hurairah said, ‘By the One in whose Hand is my soul, I have followed the prayer of the Prophet.” Al-Bukhari mentioned this hadith in mu’allaq from while others, such as an-Nasa’i, Ibn Khuzaimah, Ibn Hibban and Ibn as-Siraj related it. Al-Bukhari records that Ibn Shihab (az-Zuhri) said, “The Messenger of Allah, upon whom be peace, would say, ‘ameen.” Says ‘Ata, “‘Ameen is a supplication.” Ibn az-Zubair and those behind him would say ‘ameen and the mosque would ring with their voices. Reported Nafa’, “Ibn ‘Umar did not encourage the people to say it aloud, nor did he discourage them. I have heard him report that.” Reporting on this same subject, Abu Hurairah said, “When the Messenger of Allah, upon whom be peace, would recite, ‘...Not with those with whom You are displeased and not of those who have gone astray,’ he would say, ‘ameen such that those close to him could hear him.” (Related by Abu Dawud.) Ibn Majah’s version is, “Until the people in the first row would hear him, and the mosque would ring with the sound.” Al-Hakim also relates this hadith, and says that it is sahih according to the criterion of al-Bukhari and Muslim. Al-Baihaqi calls it hassan sahih. Ad-Daraqutni considers it as hassan. A similar report from Wa’il ibn Jubair says, “I heard the Messenger of Allah, upon whom be peace, recite, ‘...and not of those who have gone astray,’ and then say ‘ameen, and make it long with his voice.” This was related by Ahmad. Abu Dawud has it with the wording, “And he would raise his voice with it.” At-Tirmidhi classifies it as hassan and states, “More than one knowledgeable companion and those who followed them have said that a person should raise his voice while saying ‘ameen and not make it silent.” Ibn Hajr holds that the chain of this hadith is sahih. Reported ‘Ata, “I have found two hundred companions of the Prophet, upon whom be peace, in this mosque and when the imam recited,’...and not of those who have gone astray,’ I heard them say ‘ameen It is preferred to say ‘ameen along with the imam, and not before or after him Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet, upon whom be peace, said, When the imam recites, ‘... not of those with whom You are angered nor of those who have gone astray,’ you should say ‘ameen. If this corresponds to when the angels say it, he will have all of his previous sins forgiven.” (Related by al-Bukhari.) He also reported that the Prophet said, “When the imam recites, ‘...not of those with whom you are angered nor of those who have gone astray,’ then say ‘ameen (along with the imam), for the angels say ‘ameen and the imam says ‘ameen. If his ‘ameen corresponds to the ‘ameen of the angels, he will have his previous sins forgiven.” (Related by Ahmad, Abu Dawud and an-Nasa’i.)
December 2010
FASTING
ON
THE 10TH OF MUHARRAM
Question:Why do Muslims Fast on the 10th of Muharram?
Answer:
Mu’awiyyah ibn Abu Sufyan reported that the Messenger of Allah said, “Concerning the day of ‘Ashurah, it is not obligatory upon you to fast on it as I do. Whoever wishes may fast and whoever does not wish to is not obliged to do so.” This is related by al-Bukhari and Muslim. ‘Aishah (R.A.) stated: “The tribe of Quraish used to fast on the day of ‘Ashurah in the days before Islam, as did the Prophet. When he came to Madinah, he still fasted on it and ordered the people to do likewise. Then, when fasting during the month of Ramadan became obligatory, he said, ‘Whoever wishes may fast [‘Ashurah] and whoever wishes may leave it.’” This is related by al-Bukhari and Muslim. Ibn ‘Abbas reported, “The Prophet came to Madinah and found the Jews fasting on the day of ‘Ashurah. He said to them, ‘What is this fast?’ They said, ‘A great day. Allah saved Moses and the tribes of Israel from their enemies on this day and therefore, Moses fasted on this day.’ The Prophet said, ‘We have more of a right to Moses than you,’ so he fasted on that day also, and ordered the people to fast on that day.” This is recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim. According to al-Bukhari and Muslim, Musa al-Ash’ari reported, “The Jews would honor the day of ‘Ashurah as an ‘Id. The Prophet said, ‘You [Muslims] are to fast on it.’” Ibn ‘Abbas reported, “The Messenger of Allah fasted on the day of ‘Ashurah and ordered the people to fast on it.”
The fast of ‘Ashurah is of three levels:
1. fasting for three days—that is, on the 9th, 10th, and 11th of Muharram;
2. fasting on the 9th and 10th;
3. fasting only on the 10th
ALLAAH KNOWS BEST
October - 2010 Question & Answers
How To Do
Qurbani / Sacrifice
Question: How should Qurbani be performed?Answer: Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) taught Muslims the way of remembering the act of Ibrahim A.S.. He stayed 10 years in Madina and performed sacrifice at Eid-ul-Adha. (Tirmidhi) Qurbani in Islamic terms means the slaughtering of an animal with the intention of getting close to Allah (SWT) by giving some or all of the meat to the poor and destitute. Animals that can be sacrificed are goats, cows and camels. They are sacrificed on the day of Eid-ul-Adha and also on the three days after (the 11, 12 and 13th of Dhulhijjah). Distributing The Meat Giving charity to the poor by contributing and distributing the meat to them and the destitute. These acts would spread happiness and cheers amongst them especially during the festival of Eid-ul-Adha where Muslims are in the spirit of festivities. Who should do Qurbani Person who possesses Nisab (zakatable asset) should do Qurbani. It is not obligatory (fard) but is highly recommended (wajib)*, according to the Hanafi school of thought. However, Qurbani is a Sunnah act according to the Shafi, Hanbali, Maliki, and Jafari schools of thought. Animals for Qurbani The animals to be slaughtered must be a goat, sheep, cattle (cow, ox, water buffalo), or camel. Goats and sheep have to be at least one year old.For cows the age must be at least two years old. Camels must be at least five years old. Goats and sheep count as one share per animal. Cattle and camels count as seven shares per animal. They must be free from any form of handicap such as blind, sick, limp and undernourished. It also must be free of any defects such as a cut-off ear, tail, broken teeth,or broken horn. However, the goat/sheep can be used if only a few teeth are broken and most teeth are still intact. In addition, if its horn is broken midway and not from the root, it is persmissible to use such an animal. Injuries sustained during the qurbani do not invalidate the qurbani. The animals must be slaughtered in the appropriate humane ways. It has to be done by a Muslim adhering to the Islamic way of slaughtering the animal. Time of Qurbani The time for Qurbani starts from sunrise after the performance of the Eidul Adha prayers which falls on the 10th of Zhulhijjah till the sunsets on the 12th of Zhulhijjah. The best time is to perform the acts of Qurbani immediately after the completion of the Eid-ul-Adha prayers. It was reported that the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: The first thing that we do on the day of Eid is to perform the prayers. Then we go home and carry out our Qurbani. Thus, whoever does those deeds have conformed to our sunnah. And for those who slaughtered before it, then the meat is for the family members and not as an act of Qurbani. (Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 2, Book 15, Number 82) Distribution of the Qurbani meat It is preferable that the meat from Qurbani be divided in three equal parts: one for the home, one for relatives and friends, and one for the poor and needy. The meat from qurbani can be distributed to the poor, rich, Muslim or non-Muslim. *Wajib, in the Hanafi school, is an obligation which is almost Fard, except that there is some (margin of uncertainty, which may occur in the form of counter-evidence, which suggests non-obligatory nature of the deed), and the scholars have therefore refrained from pronouncing a decisive verdict of “fard” on it. Nevertheless, for purposes of action, a wajib is treated like a fard, in that it should not be deliberately discarded, and it must be made up if it was missed for some reason. For this reason, ‘wajib’ of the Hanafi school is also known as “fard `amali” (i.e. an ‘action fard’) as opposed to fard i`tiqadi (‘belief fard’), the normal fard, which one is required not only to act upon, but also to believe with full certainty and conviction that it is without doubt a duty.
September 2010 Question & Answers Preparation for
Eid-Ul-Fitr
Question: What is recommended on Eid day?
Answer: The following are some recommendations for the day of
Eid Inshaa Allaah. -Take a Ghusl (bath) for Eid Salaah. -Dress up,
putting on one’s best clothes available, whether new or cleaned old ones.
-Use perfume -Have a sweet before leaving for Eid-al-Fitr prayer.
-Pay Zakaat-al-Fitr before Salaat-al-Eid (on Eid-al-Fitr). -Go to prayer
ground/Masjid early. -Use two separate route to and from Eid
prayer. -Recite the following Takbir on the way to Salaat and until the
beginning of Salaat-al-Eid:
(Allaah is
great, Allaah is great. There is no god but Allaah. Allaah is great, Allaah is
the greatest. And all praises are for Allaah).
Sahih Al-Bukhari HadithHadith
2.73 Narrated byAnas bin Malik Allah’s Apostle never proceeded (for the prayer)
on the Day of ‘Id-ul-Fitr unless he had eaten some dates.
Anas also narrated:
The Prophet used to eat odd number of dates. Sahih Al-Bukhari HadithHadith
2.78 Narrated byIbn Juraij ‘Ata’ said, “Jabir bin ‘Abdullah said, ‘The Prophet
went out on the Day of ‘Id-ul-Fitr and offered the prayer before delivering the
Khutba. ‘Ata’ told me that during the early days of Ibn Az-Zubair, Ibn Abbas had
sent a message to him telling him that the Adhan for the ‘Id Prayer was never
pronounced (in the life time of Allah’s Apostle) and the Khutba used to be
delivered after the prayer. ‘Ata’ told me that Ibn Abbas and Jabir bin
‘Abdullah, had said there was no Adhan for the prayer of ‘Id-ul-Fitr and
‘Id-ul-Aqha.’ “ ‘Ata’ said, “I heard Jabir bin ‘Abdullah saying, ‘The Prophet
stood up and started with the prayer, and after it he delivered the Khutba. When
the Prophet of Allah (p.b.u.h) finished (the Khutba), he went to the women and
preached to them, while he was leaning on Bilal’s hand. Bilal was spreading his
garment and the ladies were putting alms in it.’ “ I said to Ata, “Do you think
it incumbent upon an Imam to go to the women and preach to them after finishing
the prayer and Khutba?” ‘Ata’ said, “No doubt it is incumbent on Imams to do so,
and why should they not do so?” Sahih Al-Bukhari HadithHadith 2.102 Narrated
byJabir bin Abdullah: On the Day of ‘Id the Prophet used to return (after
offering the ‘Id prayer) through a way different from that by which he
went.
August 2010
: How to benefit from Ramadhan? Answer:It is a bounty from Allaah’s mercy that He ordained fasting in order to purify and cleanse our hearts from lustful things. Muslims all over the world commemorate the month of Ramadan; the leader of all months; the month of forgiveness, merits and gifts; the month that gladdens the hearts of righteous people. Ramadan is the month that contains the leader of all nights; a night that is better than a thousand months. Whoever spends the night in prayers with faith and hoping for Allaah’s reward will have all his past sins forgiven. The Prophet (S.A.W) “When the month of Ramadan enters, gates of Paradise are opened, gates of Hell are closed and devils are chained.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim) Therefore, whoever wants eternal prosperity should endeavor to worship Allaah and do good deeds sincerely. For, good deeds without sincere intention is of no use. It is a glory for a believer to wake up in the night and perform prayers, for the best prayer after the obligatory ones are the prayers performed in the night. One should endeavor to supplicate to Allaah during the nights of this noble month because, supplication is the link between man and his Lord; it is an effortlessly clear profit and easy booty; it prevents calamities and brings forth Allaah’s treasures and bounties. By supplicating to Allaah during the night, He answers by granting the request generously, for His Hands never get tired of giving. The Qur’aan is Allaah’s message to His servants and a light for mankind. There is no way to Allaah’s pleasure except through it. It is revealed in the best of all months. The best way to spend one’s time during this month is to recite the Qur’aan as frequently as possible. Read it, reflect on its meaning and work by its injunctions. This is because the Qur’aan contains admonitions and lessons that increase one’s humility and humbleness.As regards charity, the Prophet S.A.W. was the most generous of all people and his generosity manifested most during the month of Ramadan. Whenever he gave, he gave generously as if he had no fear of poverty. He would never be asked of anything except that he gave it unless if he did not have it. Charity, has its positive effects on the giver. It causes blessings to his wealth and children, prevents calamities and brings forth bliss. Ramadhaan is a month of charity. One should spend from his wealth for the poor and needy and be aware that stinginess does not protect one’s wealth forever. In fact charity increases one’s wealth.Therefore, one should spend in charity, for charity elevates one’s rank in front of Allaah. One should make proper preparation for this honorable month, because it is a special guest. Receive it with sincere repentance and spend time during the month in acts of obedience to Allaah. I’tikaaf (seclusion in a mosque for the purpose of worshipping Allaah alone) is also a Sunnah that should be done during the last ten days of Ramadan. It is interesting to know that most Muslims have abandon I’tikaaf while the Messenger of Allaah (S.A.W.) never skipped I’tikaaf until his death. Use this noble month to join the cord of kinship (by keeping good relations with one’s kith and kin). Also repent sincerely to Allaah as long as the door of repentance is still open.
JULY 2010
Question:
I have a friend who got married in May 2009 in Pakistan. In December 2009 her husband came to the UK. Within a month he got himself a job, and ever since he got the job, problems started to occur. Money became a big part of his life and did not care about anything else. He would send all his money to his parents back in Pakistan. His wife and her parents tried to make him understand that sending money back home was fine but he needs to try and live a life in the UK, as well. He lives at his In-Law house and has no expense towards anything. He is very disrespectful towards his wife’s parents. He changed his appearance, he use to have a beard but he shaved that off, even though he is Haafiz ul Qur’aan.
He would always argue and leave the house for a few days without telling anyone where he is going etc. Now it has come to the point where she had enough and does not want to live with it anymore. He has walked out the house and has not returned for over a month. She therefore, wants a divorce, but he will not give it. So the question is how can she get an Islamic divorce? She is only 27 years old and all
she wants is to be happy. She wants to live a proper marriage life and start a family. She does not want to drag this on for years.
Tazmin / United Kingdom
Answer:
I feel very sorry for your friend and hope that Allaah makes everything easy for her Inshaa Allaah. I suggest your friend gets in contact with her Imaam or an Islamic Scholar in her locality, who could sit with her and her husband to discuss their problems. After hearing both husband and wife issues, the Imaam/Scholar would be able to guide them to a good decision Inshaa Allaah. It is also very important that she gets an Imaam/Scholar who is not bias and cultural Inshaa Allaah.
June 2010
WHY SHOULD I PERFORM HAJJ?Question: Why should I perform Hajj? Answer: Hajj was commanded by Allaah and started with Prophet Ibraheem (Peace be upon him) as a way, of true submission to Allaah. Prophet Ibraheem’s A.S. submission and total surrender to the Will of Allah is related to the performance / establishment of Hajj. When Prophet Ibraaheem (A.S.) finished the construction of the Ka’bah, Allaah commanded him to call people to Hajj, for Allaah has blessed Makkah and its vicinity and the people who visit it. The Holy Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said: “O people! Learn from me the way how to perform your Hajj rituals for I do not know if I will be able to make Hajj next year or not.” [Muslim, An-Nassaa’i, Abu Dawud, and Ahmad]. Hajj benefits us both physically and spiritually. We should try to understand the meaning of every thing we do and see what lessons we can learn. The following points are some reflections on Hajj: In the state of Ihram, one gets the opportunity to ponder over the total renunciation of worldly life in order to get purified and to raise the soul to a high spiritual level of consciousness of Allaah and the Eternal life. It makes the pilgrim humble, equal to others, and helpless as if it is the Day of Resurrection. The restrictions of the state of Ihraam are very rigorous in terms of the way the pilgrim behaves with others, with oneself, and one’s God consciousness. This makes Hajj a mobile school of discipline, taqwah and self-control. A mobile school which produces righteous, decent, honest and hardworking people. In the Stoning at Al-Jamaraat, one ponders on how strong and firm Prophet Ibraheem (A.S) was against Satan - our enemy since the time of Adam (A.S). We should remember how Satan does his utmost effort to distract us from doing what we’re supposed to do to become closer to Allaah and to enter Paradise. Allaah has told us that Satan is our enemy and that we should be constantly living in a state of war against Satan. AL QUR’AAN: “Then We said: “O Adam! Verily, this - Satan - is an enemy to you and your wife: so let him not get you both out of the Garden, so that you are landed in misery.” (20:117) “Verily Satan is an enemy to you: so treat him as an enemy. He only invites his adherents, that they may become companions of the Blazing Fire.” (35:6) At Hajj, one reflects on the great sacrifices and trials Prophet Ibraheem (A.S) had to undergo, such as offering his son Ismaeel (A.S), whose birth he had to wait many decades for. In the middle of joy and happiness for becoming a father, Allaah wanted to see how strong was his commitment to Him. He ordered him to offer the most valuable thing he had; his only son at that time. Prophet Ibraheem and Ismaeel (A.S) did not fail in that very difficult test and earned the pleasure of Allaah. Allaah called this trial a great one when He said, “For this was obviously a great trial” (37:106).It is important for us keep in our minds, that Allaah knows better than we do, even if we sometimes think that a certain action is not clear to us or does not make sense to us, and why do we have to perform it. Of course Allaah orders only what is good and just for us and all mankind. We should accept and submit to Allaah. As a matter of fact, one of the meanings of Islam is submission to Allaah. A pilgrim should think whether he, or she, is ready to offer the dearest thing to his, or her, heart for the sake of Allaah. We need to accept the fact that we cannot survive as true Muslims without sacrifices, devotion, sincere love, commitment, and dedication. Allaah (swt) says, “By no means shall you attain righteousness unless you give (freely) of that which you love; and whatever you give of a truth Allaah knows it well.” (3:92)
Assalamu-alaikum, I’m a 44
year
old married woman. I would like to know what my rights and duties are
towards my
husband who tell lies and break promises, not only to me but to others
as well.
He finds himself in very deep debt with the result he borrows money from
people
and breaks promises when paying back time comes. I feel very ashamed
because
people confront me with these problems and even label me alongside him
as being
untrue. It is causing much tension in our marriage. I have lost respect
for him.
Please advise me, should I behave as a good Muslim wife to him (which is
difficult to do). I have been thinking of leaving him, but on the other
side he
is a good man who undoubtly loves me and our children very
much. Answer:
WA ALAIKUM ASSALAAM W.B. If he is a
good man
and loves you and your children, then you should try to help him by
getting a
local Shaikh/Scholar or counselor to do some counseling with him Inshaa
Allaah.
Assalamualaikum, my
problem is
that I have been married to my husband for nearly five years and we have
a son
of three years. I have been married before but it is my husbands first
marriage,
he constantly brings up my past and calls me a whore and a slag. He uses
a foul
word when he speaks to me. He has no respect. I feel that I cannot do
right by
him at all. The first two years were good but suddenly everything
changed. About
four months ago we had a huge argument about money, as I took some of
his money
and he wanted it back and I couldn’t give it immediately he got his
sisters
involved and threw me out of the house. I went back to London and tried
to get
him and said I was sorry for what I did and I would give him his money
back if
he wanted. After being separated for two months he called me and told me
we
could start afresh and we don’t have to talk about the money. I agreed
and came
back, but things are worse. I pray to Allaah to help me, but my husband
drinks
alcohol and constantly abuses me. I am actually scared of him. I have
given him
money every month as I work but it hurts when he demands money from me.
He has
also taken a big amount of money from our sons account and hasn’t
replaced it.
Please help me to make a decision. I am very tired of trying and trying
and
getting abused day in and day out. I am also scared of being alone.
Thank
You Answer:
WA ALAIKUM ASSALAAM W.B. I am sorry to
hear of
your unhappy situation. Based on your question, I suggest that you
contact your
Imaam or the person who performed your Nikaah to sit and preside over a
meeting
between you and your husband. Let the Imaam listen to both of you’ll and
decide
whether
your marriage could work
or not. If it
cannot work, then do not waste your life and time in
misery.
March 2010 Question & Answer
My Wife’s Chatting on Internet
Question:
Assalam Allykum. I don’t know where to start from as I am confused. I recently found out that my wife has been chatting on the internet with guys and these conversations aren’t innocent. I have not yet informed her that I know what she has been doing. I am now confused as to what I should do because I feel that even if I confront her that she will lie or deny it.
The change hasn’t come from within her own heart. I would just be forcing her to not use the net and she will pretend in that she has repented in front of me. In general, she lies quite a lot and I have let that go as I find no solution to this problem either, except a divorce, which I have been trying to avoid that scenario. My other problem is that I don’t know if I can trust her anymore. She chats to guys on the net and sends sms’s to them. She has lied to them too leading them to believe that she is not married.
How can I trust that she is not meeting up with guys in real life when I am at work? She has currently not received her green card so that may be one of the reasons she married me. I don’t know if I should confront her. She will just make up some lie and I would either have to accept it or leave her. I really don’t know what to do. My sister has found out and she in threatening to tell my parents and if they find out they will make sure that I divorce her. I am all fired up and I have refrained from doing anything in the spur of the moment as my sister has calmed me down and said we should find the solution or outcome before I confront her. Can you please let me know how I should proceed. I still have the monitoring software installed on her pc and I feel that is Haram too as it is “tajasus”” and as Muslims we shouldn’t do that. Please advise me.
Thanks Your brother in Islam
ANSWER:
You should approach her with wisdom and kind words. Ask her what is her intention and plans. Let her know that you have reasons to believe that she is chatting with guys online etc. If she refuses to respond to your question, then you should get two witnesses whom you both trust and respect; and ask her the same questions as mentioned before. Ask about her intentions and motive in chatting with guys on the internet.
If she chooses a divorce, then set her free in an amicable manner with no quarrel etc.,but if she wishes to change, then you should forgive her and try to live a happy life if possible Inshaa Allaah. With regards to the monitoring software, it is ok for you proceed with it as evidence, so that you would have proof of your case ( FOR SHE IS YOUR WIFE AND YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER ACTIONS). However, after the meetings and final decision etc, you should discontinue the monitoring software, Inshaa Allaah.
ALLAAH KNOWS BEST
January 2010 Question. & Answer
Fasting on Ashura
Question:
What is the law pertaining to Fasting on Ashura?
Answer:
Abu Hurairah reported: “I asked the Prophet: ‘Which prayer is the best after the obligatory prayers?’ He said: ‘Prayer during the middle of the night.’ I asked: ‘Which fast is the best after the fast of Rarnadan?’ He said, ‘The month of Allaah that you call Muharram.’ “ This is related by Ahmad, Muslim, and Abu Dawud.
Mu’awiyyah ibn Abu Sufyan reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah say: “Concerning the day of ‘Ashurah, it is not obligatory upon you to fast on it as I do. Whoever wishes may fast and whoever does not wish to is not obliged to do so.” This is related by al-Bukhari and Muslim. ‘Aishah stated: “The tribe of Quraish used to fast on the day of ‘Ashurah in the days before Islam, as did the Prophet. When he came to Madinah, he still fasted on it and ordered the people to do likewise. Then, when fasting during the month of Ramadan became obligatory, he said: ‘Whoever wishes may fast [‘Ashurah] and whoever wishes may leave it.” This is related by al-Bukhari and Muslim.
Ibn ‘Abbas reported: “The Prophet came to Madinah and found the Jews fasting on the day of ‘Ashurah. He said to them: ‘What is this fast?’ They said: ‘A great day. Allah saved Moses and the tribes of Israel from their enemies on this day and therefore, Moses fasted on this day.’ The Prophet said: ‘We have more of a right to Moses than you,’ so he fasted on that day also and ordered the people to fast on that day.” This is recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim.
According to al-Bukhari and Muslim, Musa al-Ash’ari reported: “The Jews would honor the day of ‘Ashurah as an ‘id. The Prophet said: ‘You [Muslims] are to fast on it.’”
The scholars have mentioned that the fast of ‘Ashurah is of three levels: 1. fasting three days—that is, on the 9th, 10th, and 11th of Muharram; 2. fasting on the 9th and 10th; and 3. fasting only on the 10th. Reference / Fiqh-us-Sunnah Allaah Knows Best
December 2009 Question. & Answer
Salatul Tasbih Strongly Recommended
Question:
What is Salatul Tasbih?
Answer:
‘Ikrimah reports from Ibn ‘Abbas that the Messenger of Allah said to ‘Abbas ibn ‘Abdal-Mutalib: “O ‘Abbas, O Uncle, shall I not give you, shall I not present to you, shall I not donate to you, shall I not tell you ten things which, if you do, Allah will forgive your first and last sins, past and present sins, intentional and unintentional sins, private and public sins?
The ten actions are: pray four rak’at, reciting in every rak’ah al-Fatihah and a surah. And when you finish the Qur’anic recitation of the first rak’ah, say, while standing, ‘Subhanallah, al-hamdulillah, wa la ilaha illallah, wa Allahu Akbar’ [‘Glory be to Allah. All praise is due to Allah. There is no God except Allah. Allah is the greatest.’] fifteen times. Then make ruku’, and while you are in ruku’, say the same ten times; then stand, and say the same ten times. Then go down and make sajdah, and while you’re in sajdah, say the same ten times. Then sit after the sajdah, and say the same ten times. Then make sajdah, and say the same ten times. Then sit after the second sajdah, and say the same another ten times.
That is seventy-five [repetitions of the phrases] in each rak’ah. Do that in each of the four rak’at. If you can pray it once a day, do so. If you cannot, then once every Friday. If you cannot do that, then once a year. And if you cannot do that then once in your life.” This is related by Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah, Ibn Khuzaimah in his sahih, and at-Tabarani. About this hadith al-Mundhiri says: “This hadith has been related through many chains and from a number of companions. The best of them is this one from ‘Ikrimah. A group of scholars have graded it to be sahih, including al-Hafez Abu Bakr al-’Ajari, (al-Mundhiri’s teachers), Abu Muhammad ‘Abdurrahim al-Misri, and Abu al-Hassan al-Maqdisi.” Ibn alMubarak says: “The tasbih prayer is a greatly desired act and it is desirable that one should punctually observe it and never neglect it.
Reference / Fiqh Us Sunnah
November 2009 Question. & Answer
Qurbani (Sacrifice)
Question: How should Qurbani be performed?
Answer:
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) taught Muslims the way of remembering the act of Ibrahim A.S.. He stayed 10 years in Madina and performed sacrifice at Eid-ul-Adha. (Tirmidhi) Qurbani in Islamic terms means the slaughtering of an animal with the intention of getting close to Allah (SWT) by giving some or all of the meat to the poor and destitute. Animals that can be sacrificed are goats, cows and camels. They are sacrificed on the day of Eid-ul-Adha and also on the three days after (the 11, 12 and 13th of Dhulhijjah).
Distributing The Meat
Giving charity to the poor by contributing and distributing the meat to them and the destitute. These acts would spread happiness and cheers amongst them especially during the festival of Eid-ul-Adha where Muslims are in the spirit of festivities.
Who should do Qurbani
Person who possesses Nisab (zakatable asset) should do Qurbani. It is not obligatory (fard) but is highly recommended (wajib)*, according to the Hanafi school of thought. However, Qurbani is a Sunnah act according to the Shafi, Hanbali, Maliki, and Jafari schools of thought.
Animals for Qurbani
The animals to be slaughtered must be a goat, sheep, cattle (cow, ox, water buffalo), or camel. Goats and sheep have to be at least one year old.For cows the age must be at least two years old. Camels must be at least five years old. Goats and sheep count as one share per animal. Cattle and camels count as seven shares per animal. They must be free from any form of handicap such as blind, sick, limp and undernourished. It also must be free of any defects such as a cut-off ear, tail, broken teeth,or broken horn. However, the goat/sheep can be used if only a few teeth are broken and most teeth are still intact. In addition, if its horn is broken midway and not from the root, it is persmissible to use such an animal. Injuries sustained during the qurbani do not invalidate the qurbani. The animals must be slaughtered in the appropriate humane ways. It has to be done by a Muslim adhering to the Islamic way of slaughtering the animal.
Time of Qurbani
The time for Qurbani starts from sunrise after the performance of the Eidul Adha prayers which falls on the 10th of Zhulhijjah till the sunsets on the 12th of Zhulhijjah. The best time is to perform the acts of Qurbani immediately after the completion of the Eid-ul-Adha prayers. It was reported that the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: The first thing that we do on the day of Eid is to perform the prayers. Then we go home and carry out our Qurbani. Thus, whoever does those deeds have conformed to our sunnah. And for those who slaughtered before it, then the meat is for the family members and not as an act of Qurbani. (Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 2, Book 15, Number 82)
Distribution of the Qurbani meat
It is preferable that the meat from Qurbani be divided in three equal parts: one for the home, one for relatives and friends, and one for the poor and needy. The meat from qurbani can be distributed to the poor, rich, Muslim or non-Muslim. *Wajib, in the Hanafi school, is an obligation which is almost Fard, except that there is some (margin of uncertainty, which may occur in the form of counter-evidence, which suggests non-obligatory nature of the deed), and the scholars have therefore refrained from pronouncing a decisive verdict of "fard" on it. Nevertheless, for purposes of action, a wajib is treated like a fard, in that it should not be deliberately discarded, and it must be made up if it was missed for some reason. For this reason, ‘wajib’ of the Hanafi school is also known as "fard `amali" (i.e. an ‘action fard’) as opposed to fard i`tiqadi (‘belief fard’), the normal fard, which one is required not only to act upon, but also to believe with full certainty and conviction that it is without doubt a duty.
Answer: The ability to perform Hajj, is one of its essential condition.
1. A person must be healthy and physically fit. If one is disabled by old age or a disease that is incurable or is unable to perform Hajj for some other similar reason, he may, if he is financially capable, assign someone else to perform Hajj on his behalf and at his expense.
2. The journey to Hajj must be safe so that the pilgrim’s life and possessions are safe and secure from any danger. If one is afraid for one’s life from highwaymen or an epidemic or if one is afraid to be robbed of one’s possessions, then such a one is deemed as one of those who cannot afford the journey for Hajj.
There is, however, a difference of opinion among scholars regarding the entry fees and other charges levied on pilgrims. Can a person be excused and reckoned as unable financially to perform Hajj because of these charges? AshShafi’i and others are of the view that the presence of these levies does qualify a person to be classified as unable to perform Hajj, even though the levy involved may be paltry. The Maliki scholars disagree for they do not regard this as a sufficient reason for a person to be deemed as unable to perform Hajj, unless the amount involved is too exorbitant or is demanded repeatedly.
3. One must possess the necessary provision and also the requisite means of journey. Necessary provision here means that the intending pilgrim must have sufficient supplies for himself as well as for his family that he leaves behind. These supplies include sufficient and adequate clothing, housing, means of traveling, and tools for the pursuit of his trade or profession besides the financial means for the journey. (The person intending to perform Hajj should not sell his clothes, his personal belongings, or his house—even if they were abundant to get money for Hajj). Means of traveling imply that which enables him to go to Hajj and come back, whether it is by land, by sea, or by air. This concerns those who live far from Makkah and cannot walk there.
As for those who live in the vicinity of Makkah, this condition does not apply, for they are so close that they can go for Hajj on foot. Some Ahadith explain the Qur’anic words “those who can afford the journey,” (Qur’an 3.97) as meaning provision of food and means of journey. Anas reports that the Prophet (peace be upon him) when once asked about the meaning of “those who can afford” said: “It means possessing means of sustenance and transportation.” Allah says in the Qur’ an: “Pilgrimage thereto is a duty men owe to Allah - those who can afford the journey.” REFERENCE/EXCERPTS FROM FIQH-S-SUNNAH
NOTE: Children who have the ability should do the Hajj for parents, who do not have the health or wealth to perform the Hajj-or for parents who have passed away.
HADITH:
Hazrat Ibn ‘Abbas narrates that a woman from the tribe of Johainah came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said: “My mother had vowed to perform Hajj but she died before fulfilling her vow, should I perform Hajj on her behalf? The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Yes, perform Hajj on her behalf. Would you not pay off any debts your mother might have left behind upon her death? Pay off what you owe to Allah, for He is most deserving of settlement of His debt.” (Bukhaari)
Question: Why do Muslims Fast on the 10th of Muharram?
Answer: Mu’awiyyah ibn Abu Sufyan reported that the Messenger of Allah said: "Concerning the day of ‘Ashurah, it is not obligatory upon you to fast on it as I do. Whoever wishes may fast and whoever does not wish to is not obliged to do so." This is related by al-Bukhari and Muslim. ‘Aishah stated: "The tribe of Quraish used to fast on the day of ‘Ashurah in the days before Islam, as did the Prophet. When he came to Madinah, he still fasted on it and ordered the people to do likewise. Then, when fasting during the month of Ramadan became obligatory, he said: ‘Whoever wishes may fast [‘Ashurah] and whoever wishes may leave it." This is related by al-Bukhari and Muslim. Ibn ‘Abbas reported: "The Prophet came to Madinah and found the Jews fasting on the day of ‘Ashurah. He said to them: ‘What is this fast?’ They said: ‘A great day. Allah saved Moses and the tribes of Israel from their enemies on this day and therefore, Moses fasted on this day.’ The Prophet said: ‘We have more of a right to Moses than you,’ so he fasted on that day also and ordered the people to fast on that day." This is recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim. According to al-Bukhari and Muslim, Musa al-Ash’ari reported: "The Jews would honor the day of ‘Ashurah as an ‘id. The Prophet said: ‘You [Muslims] are to fast on it.’ Ibn ‘Abbas reported: "The Messenger of Allah fasted on the day of ‘Ashurah and ordered the people to fast on it.
The fast of ‘Ashurah is of three levels:
1. fasting three days—that is, on the 9th, 10th, and 11th of Muharram;
2. fasting on the 9th and 10th;
3. fasting only on the 10th
Oct. 2008
Reciting Qur’aan
During Menstruation
Question:
Can one recite the Qur’aan during menstruation?
Answer:
According to most scholars, one who is physically unclean (because of sex or menstruation) may not recite any portion of the Qur’an. This is based on a hadith from ‘Ali, in which he stated that nothing kept the Messenger of Allah, upon whom be peace, from the Qur’an save being sexually impure. This is related by “the four.” At-Tirmidhi graded it sahih. Says al-Hafez in al-Fath, “Some people declare some of its narrators weak. But, in fact, it is of the hassan class and it is satisfactory as a proof.” He also related, “I saw the Messenger of Allah perform ablution and recite some of the Qur’an, after which he said, ‘This is for the one who is not in post-sex impurity. If one is in post-sex impurity, he may not do so, not even one verse.” Ahmad and Abu Ya’la related this hadith with that wording. With that wording, al-Haithami says, “Its narrators are trustworthy.” Says ash-Shaukani, “If that (report) is authentic, that is proof enough that it is forbidden.” The first hadith does not forbid it, for it just states that it was his practice not to recite the Qur’an while he was in post-sex impurity. Similar reports do not show that it is disliked. Therefore, how can it be used as a proof that it is forbidden?” Al-Bukhari, at-Tabarani, Dawud, and Ibn Hazm are of the opinion that it is permissible for one who is in post-sex impurity (or in menstruation) to recite the Qur’an. Says al-Bukhari, “Ibrahim said, ‘There is no problem if a menstruating woman recites a verse.’ Ibn ‘Abbas did not see anything wrong with a sexually impure person reciting the Qur’an. The Prophet, upon whom be peace, used to mention Allah under all circumstances.” In Ibn Hajr’s notes to that work, he says, “There is no authentic hadith reported by the author (al-Bukhari) concerning the prohibition of reciting by one who is sexually impure or menstruating.” The sum total of what has been related on this issue informs us on this point, though the interpretations differ.
Reference/FIQH US SUNNAH
June 2008 Issue
Prayer of a Sick Person
Question: How does a sick person stand and pray?
Answer:
Whoever has some excuse due to illness and cannot stand during the fard salah is allowed to pray sitting. If he cannot pray in a sitting posture, he may pray while on his side by making gestures. In such a case, his gestures for sajdah should be lower than those for his ruku’. This principle is based on Allah’s words: “...And celebrate Allah’s praises, standing, sitting, and lying on your sides.” ‘Imran ibn Hussain says: “I had piles [hemorrhoids], so I asked the Prophet about the prayer and he said: ‘Offer the salah while standing and if you cannot do so, pray while sitting, and if you can’t do that, then make salah while Iying on your side.”’ This is related by the group, except for Muslim. An-Nasa’i adds: “And if you cannot offer salah while lying on your side, then do it while lying on your back. Allah does not burden a soul, save with what it can bear.” Jabir reports: “The Messenger of Allah visited a sick person and found him praying on a cushion. The Prophet pushed it aside and said: “Pray on the ground if you can, and if you cannot, then pray by making gestures, and make your sajdah lower than your ruku’.’” This is related by alBaihaqi . What is meant by inability is that the person if he prays [in the regular way], will suffer hardship, or his disease will aggravate, or his recovery would be hampered, or he will swoon if he prays in the customary manner. One should sit cross-legged while praying in a sitting position.
‘Aishah narrates that she saw the Prophet sallallahu alehi wasallam sitting cross-legged while praying. This is related by an-Nasa’i and al-Hakim says it is sahih. It is also permissible to sit in the manner that one sits while performing the tashahud
One who can offer the salah neither sitting nor standing is to lie down on his side, and if he cannot do that, he is to lie down on his back with his legs toward the qiblah according to his state of health. Ibn al-Mundhir prefers this opinion. On this point, there is a weak hadith reported by ‘Ali which states that the Prophet said: “The sick person is to pray standing if he is able. If he cannot do so, he should pray sitting. If he is not able to make the sajdah, he should nod with his head and make the nod of his sajjud lower than that of his ruku’. If he cannot pray in a sitting posture, he should pray while lying down on his right side facing the qiblah. If one cannot pray on his right side, he should pray while lying on his back with his legs stretched out toward the qiblah.” This is related by ad-Daraqutni. Some scholars maintain that one can pray in whatever manner is easy for him. It is apparent from the hadith that if one can only nod while lying on his back, then nothing else is obligatory upon him.
April 2008 Issue
They Threatened To Kill Me
If I Didn’t Marry My Cousin
Question: Firstly I apologize for presenting such a long issue. I can’t find a better way to express my plight and agony. Kindly accept the apologies of your sister in faith. I am a 26 years old sister in faith from India,who is well educated and possess a reasonable understanding of Islam. I was forced to marry my cousin last month
(only nikah happened and the ruksati will happen later). I am in great pain because I am not happy with the marriage and I do not accept my cousin as my husband. Though in the Nikah I gave my verbal consent but in my heart I do not accept my cousin. I love a muslim boy for past three years and expressed my desire to marry him to my parents. The boy was my classmate in college and over the years I found him and his family to be decent and pious Muslims, free from conceit and egoism of the modern world. Also financially, they have enough to support me well and give me a decent and a respectable life. Personally the boy’s “Deen” and good character impressed me the most. My parents live in Saudi Arabia and I live in a joint family in India with my Uncle ( my father’s older brother and the father of the person I married). My parents and all the family members refused and oppressed my emotions immensely. They threatened to kill me, kill the boy whom I want to marry and his family or commit suicide if I married that boy. That boy had proposed to me and his family have accepted me. His mother even called my uncle once and my uncle accused her of misguiding me. The boy’s family also came to my house and my family again belittled them and finally they had to leave when all of sudden my father fell ill. Though, soon the same day my father recovered. My family pressurized me saying that my father will die if I did not marry my cousin. My sister and mother accused me that I’ll be responsible for his death. They said that I should be a good Muslim and obey my parents. I am being misguided by Shaitan by choosing a groom for myself against my parents will. One of my uncle’s even said about the boy’s family members “ Did you see those peoples faces. They clearly look like people from low class. We are Sayyeds and we can’t destroy our lineage by marrying a low class Muslim.” In the Indian sub continent Sayyeds are considered as the high Muslims who trace their lineage to the Prophet Muhammad’s(PBUH) family. My cousin said that if the boy was from our beraderi he would have not married me and let me marry him. According to my cousin he likes me and now has enough financial facility to afford me. If he was not financially not well-off he would have not married me. One of my uncles had said that because of my bad health and nature no one from outside can tolerate me and therefore they are forcing me to marry my cousin. All my family members did nothing but played around with words and threatened me. One of my uncles even grabbed my throat in anger. They started planning to get the boy’s family killed. My family said that they are true slaves of Allah and therefore they got a signal from Allah that if I marry by my choice, this will ruin my life and my family’s life and therefore they are forcing me. That day I even gave them the contact number of one of the Islamic Scholar’s whom I had consulted in this matter. My family refused to talk to him and said that they have already consulted in Madina and their approach is right and justified. They pressurized me emotionally and psychologically to the extent that I gave up. Last year when I had approached my family about the proposal they rejected on the following grounds:
- The boy is not a high class Sayyed.
- According to them Islam prefers marriages to cousins/relatives rather than to people from outside.
- I am destroying my family’s honor and lineage by wishing to marry a person of my own choice when my family had decided to marry me to my cousin ever since we were born.
-They accused me of taking undue advantage of modern education and threatened me if I married the boy of my choice, they will stop the education of all the females in my family.
·- They said that I will ruin the family harmony and misguide all the younger ones in the family.
·- My uncle even pressurized me to make a promise that they’ll never force me to marry my cousin, provided I never express my desire to marry that boy of my choice. They will not feel bad or regret in having a daughter unmarried for life, rather than marry her to a boy whom they think is not of their status and who will disgrace their family. My uncle ultimately broke this promise and said that he had not said any such thing. I would like to bring to your notice that if we wanted we could have eloped and gotten married but we never did that. That boy and his family preferred my family’s consent. How can such a family be low?
Now I have no feelings for my family or my cousin except that of anger and hatred. How can you make someone happy by destroying their dreams. Every girl has some dreams for her marriage but all my feelings are dead now. I can never accept my cousin as my husband. My relationship with that boy was and is honorable and we love each other very much to the extent he will wait for me life long Inshaa Allah and I will pray to Allah to be his wife life long Inshaa Allah. His family is still ready to accept me even if my cousin leaves me. I know I am married to another man. But I do not believe, respect and accept a marriage that happens by threats and force. I will never be able to respect my family and my cousin. In every prayer I beg Allah for his mercy and forgiveness for my feelings and happiness with the man I want to spend my life with. Please tell me am I wrong to still think and pray for the man with whom I always wished and still wish to spend my life with. Was my family’s act on the above grounds justified? Islam on one hand says be obedient to parents and on the other hand gives rights to the girl to choose her husband and refrains parents from forcing and imposing their decisions of marriage on their daughters. Is this true? Is such a forced marriage valid? Is marriage all about financial support and not emotional attachment and compatibility? Please help me in the light of Quran al Hakeem and the Shariya. Also tell me some supplications that would relieve me of my grief and pain. PLEASE DO RESPOND AT THE EARLIEST. Thank you very much in anticipation. May the Almighty Allah forgive us all and have mercy on us.
Answer:
WA ALAIKUM ASSALAAM W.B.
I feel very sorry to hear your situation. Salaah / Prayer does wonders - just pray Tahajjud and ask Allaah to help and guide you Inshaa Allaah.....when is the Ruksati expected? The marriage is not complete until it is consumated - so you still have some time. You should show your family the following hadith: Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.69 Narrated by Khansa bint Khidam Al Ansariya that her father gave her in marriage when she was a matron and she disliked that marriage. So she went to Allah’s Apostle and he declared that marriage invalid. On another note - your experience is a very interesting one that can be a lesson for many people.....if it is okay with you - could I publish your question in our Islamic Magazine here in the the USA, so readers can learn from your experience...I will not use your name Inshaa Allaah.
ALLAAH KNOWS BEST
March 2008 Issue
Salatul Tasbih
Once a Day or Once in a Lifetime
Question:
What is Salatul Tasbih?
Answer:
Hazrat ‘Ikrimah reports from Ibn ‘Abbas that the Messenger of Allah said to ‘Abbas ibn ‘Abdal-Mutalib: “O ‘Abbas, O Uncle, shall I not give you, shall I not present to you, shall I not donate to you, shall I not tell you ten things which, if you do, Allah will forgive your first and last sins, past and present sins, intentional and unintentional sins, private and public sins? The ten actions are: pray four rak’at, reciting in every rak’ah al-Fatihah and a surah. And when you finish the Qur’anic recitation of the first rak’ah, say, while standing, ‘Subhanallah, al-hamdulillah, wa la ilaha illallah, wa Allahu Akbar’ [‘Glory be to Allah. All praise is due to Allah. There is no God except Allah. Allah is the greatest.’] fifteen times. Then make ruku’, and while you are in ruku’, say the same ten times; then stand, and say the same ten times. Then go down and make sajdah, and while you’re in sajdah, say the same ten times. Then sit after the sajdah, and say the same ten times. Then make sajdah, and say the same ten times. Then sit after the second sajdah, and say the same another ten times. That is seventy-five [repetitions of the phrases] in each rak’ah. Do that in each of the four rak’at. If you can pray it once a day, do so. If you cannot, then once every Friday. If you cannot do that, then once a year. And if you cannot do that then once in your life.” This is related by Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah, Ibn Khuzaimah in his sahih, and at-Tabarani. About this hadith al-Mundhiri says: “This hadith has been related through many chains and from a number of companions. The best of them is this one from ‘Ikrimah. A group of scholars have graded it to be sahih, including al-Hafez Abu Bakr al-’Ajari, (al-Mundhiri’s teachers), Abu Muhammad ‘Abdurrahim al-Misri, and Abu al-Hassan al-Maqdisi.” Ibn alMubarak says: “The tasbih prayer is a greatly desired act and it is desirable that one should punctually observe it and never neglect it.
Reference / FIQH US SUNNAH
February 2008
BROKEN UP WITH BOYFRIEND
&
GOING THROUGH DEPRESSION
Question:
I am a Muslim girl originally from Bosnia. Our Islamic culture is a little different from the Middle East. We can have boyfriends before marriage. So I had a boyfriend for years we argued so much that I decided not to marry him but loved him so much that I decided to stay. We have been through ups and downs together. We made promises to each other of things we would do even after we break up. Two weeks ago we got into a fight and moved out of our apartment. We shared a dog (we love so much), brand new car, the apartment and furniture. He left everything! Devastated I sucked it up and figured he’ll come back. One week later I found out that he was with another girl. When I found out, he was so heart less as if I was a nobody to him. As if I didn’t mean anything to him. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I begged him back and still he said that he is happier with her and will never get back with me. He left everything behind for her and never once looked back. Looking at it now, the signs were there of his cheating but we’ve never done that to one another so I didn’t expect it from him. Now, 3 weeks later I am going through depression, stress and I mean serious depression. I went to see an Imaam but to my surprise he said that the girl put magic (blackmagic) on him. When he sent me home with some remedies for my depression and to take magic off of him but I have to wait. He is claiming his girl to all of our friends and really into this girl. I want to know how this Imaam can say its magic when all he used was our names and birthdays. What rules do they run by how do they know all of this stuff. And yes the Imaam did mention to me that even after the magic is off there is a possibility he won’t come back to me but it will help him think more clearly. What can you advise me on this issue?
Answer:
If you were not married to him - then you should just forget him and continue your life......don’t get confused with all this black magic thing......you are just in love with the wrong person....or may be you just can’t get over the shock that he has done such a thing to you. Just pray and continue your life...but make sure, to get married the right way with the right guy, rather than living the wrong way with the wrong guy. Inshaa Allaah.
January 2008
Best Time For Dua
Question:
HOW & WHEN IS THE BEST TIME TO MAKE DUA?
Answer:
Supplicating at the most Opportune Times and Locations.
These are, for instance, the day of ‘Arafah, month of Ramadan, Friday, the last part of the night, at dawn, during prostration, at the time of rainfall, between the adhan and iqamah, at the time of encounter of armies, at times of panic, and when one’s heart is soft and tender. bAbu Umamah reported, “The Prophet, peace be upon him, was asked, ‘What supplication finds the greatest acceptance?’ He answered: ‘A prayer offered in the middle of the latter part of the night and after the prescribed Prayers’.’ (Reported by Tirmidhi with a sound chain of authorities) Abu Hurairah reported, the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “The servant is nearest to his Lord when he is prostrating to Him, so make supplication in this state.” (Muslim) There are very many hadith found in various books on this subject. Starting the Supplication with Allah’s Praise and Blessings on His Prophet. Fudalah b. ‘Ubaid reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, heard a man supplicating during prayer. He did not glorify Allah, nor did he invoke blessings on the Prophet. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “He has been hasty.” Then he called the man and said either to him, or to someone else, “When any one of you prays, he should begin by glorifying and praising his Lord and then he should invoke blessings on the Prophet, peace be upon him, and after that he should supplicate Allah for anything he wishes.”
REFERENCE / Fiqh-us-Sunnah
December 2007
THE ANIMAL
Should Not Be Weak Or Sick
Question:
What are some of the important points we need to know about Qurbaani/Sacrifice.
Answer:
The following are some references pertaining to your questions: Sahih Al-Bukhari HadithHadith 7.453 Narrated byAl Bara The Prophet said (on the day of Id-al-Adha), “The first thing we will do on this day of ours, is to offer the (‘Id) prayer and then return to slaughter the sacrifice. Whoever does so, he acted according to our Sunna (tradition), and whoever slaughtered (the sacrifice) before the prayer, what he offered was just meat he presented to his family, and that will not be considered as Nusak (sacrifice).” (On hearing that) Abu Burda bin Niyar got up, for he had slaughtered the sacrifice before the prayer, and said, “I have got a six month old ram.” The Prophet said, ‘Slaughter it (as a sacrifice) but it will not be sufficient for any-one else (as a sacrifice after you).” Al-Bara’ added: The Prophet said, “Whoever slaughtered (the sacrifice) after the prayer, he slaughtered it at the right time and followed the tradition of the Muslims.” Conditions for Sacrifice A sacrificial animal should satisfy the following conditions: 1. It should be two years old, if it is an animal other than a sheep. As for sheep, even a six month old lamb may be sacrificed, but it should be fat and healthy. As for a camel, it must be at least five years old, a cow two years old, and a goat a year old at least. 2. It should be healthy and free from all physical defects. It should not be one eyed, nor should it limp, be mangy, or very thin and weak. Al-Hasan said that the scholars said: “If a man purchases a healthy animal for sacrifice. but later before its slaughtering it becomes sick or loses one eye or develops a limp in her legs, then such a person may slaughter it as a sacrifice and that will sulfice him (to fullfil his obligation).” This was reported by Sa’id bin Mansur. Selecting One’s Own Sacrificial Animal Malik has reported from Hisham bin ‘Urwah and he from his father that he used to tell his sons: “O my sons! Do not slaughter an animal in the name of Allah such as you will be embarrassed to present as a gift to a close and respected friend of yours. Allah is the Most Honorable and Most Generous, and He is the most deserving to be offered the best of what you have.” Sa’id bin Mansur reported that Ibn ‘Umar once mounted in Makkah on a nice she-camel, which he liked very much, and said, “Excellent! Excellent!” admiring it. Then he dismounted, marked it as an offering, and a sacrifice for the pleasure of Allah. Butcher’s Wages out of the Sacrifice? It is not permissible to give a butcher his wages out of the meat of the animal. A butcher may, however, be given a portion of the meat in charity. This is based on the statement of Ali who said, “the Prophet (peace be upon him) ordered me to take care of his camels that were to be slaughtered and to distribute their meat, skins and everything else (among the needy people), but he ordered me not to give any portion of it to the butcher.” And then he said, “We shall give him from ourselves.” This is reported by the Group. This hadith shows that one is permitted to designate someone else to slaughter the animal on one’s behalf, distribute its meat, skin and other useful parts among others, but one is not permitted to give any portion of it in wages to the butcher. A butcher should, however, be paid for his work as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “We shall give him from ourselves.” It is reported that Al-Hasan said,”There is no harm in giving the skin of the animal to the butcher.”
Reference / Fiqh Us Sunnah
August 2007
INDIANMother-In-Law & Father-In-Law
Question:
My question is in relation to a wife’s right to housing in Islam. We are both doctors of Indian origin currently living in the UK and my in-laws visit us for 6 months every year. Unfortunately, my sisters-in-law are jealous of me for various reasons and have poisoned my parents-in-law against me. Due to this their behavior towards me is not the best and I feel isolated when they are with us because they routinely meet with their daughters, keep talking about them and their children and actively ignore anything and everything I am good at or do for them. My father-in-law is a very rude man and has no respect for women and my mother-in-law keeps cribbing about me to my husband indirectly. I believe the best solution to this would be for me to meet them only occasionally so that it is easier for me to forgive their behavior and have no contempt in my heart. I am aware of my rights that Islam confers on me, however, my husband argues that if he provides me with separate accommodation that would annoy his parents and that would be an un Islamic behavior on his part because he is obliged to not upset his parents and therefore expects me to put up with everything. My husband also argues that if Islam has given me some rights I don’t necessarily have to avail of them and that it is better for me to give up those rights and seek paradise in the service of my in-laws! However, my mind doesn’t agree to this argument at all. I would grateful if you could shed some light on the matter.
Answer: You need to tell your husband to get someone who could advice his parents to treat you according to the Islamic laws, with love and respect.....they should not be treating you like an Indian daughter in law - but as a Muslim Inshaa Allah....being parents, doesn’t mean that they should act against the teachings of the Qur’aan and Sunnah.
SURAHS IN SALAAH
Question: During salaah, if the Imam recites a sura that we do not know, what should we do... should we follow along even though we don’t know the sura, or should we recite an easier sura by ourselves that we do know?
Answer: Just follow along behind the Imam.
Question: If the Imam by mistake recites the same surah after surah al Fathiha for two Rakaats, what should we do? Is it permissible to recite the same sura twice during namaaz?
Answer: Yes it is permissible; however, it is Sunnah to read different Surahs or Verses in different rakats.
~Allaah Knows Best~
July 2007
Are lovers allowed to spend time together ?
Marriage
Question: My sister wants to get married to this guy. The problem is that his mother is not willing at all for him to marry her. My question is as Allah says we should obey our parents no matter what but then marriage cannot happen if two people are not ready to marry each other. so his mother will never come around so if he is getting married without his mother present how does he stand Islamically ?
Answer: Marriage, culture, parents and Islam happen to be a very complicated thing in the world today. Actually, every case would have to be dealt with differently, based on the reasoning behind the action. If the reason is culture and society, then there could be compromise - but if the reason is contrary to Qur’aan and Sunnah, then there should be no compromise. Therefore, one needs to find out the reason behind the mother’s action.
Nikaah Online
Question: AOA I want to get married to a girl in India, I live in USA, due to some health problems she is not able to come here, I would like to get nikaah done online, can u please guide me as to how it can be done
Answer: WA ALAIKUM ASSALAAM W.B. You can do the nikaah over the phone on a conference call with two witnesses, the wakeel and the both parties involved. Get your Imaam and one witness to be on the phone when you call. Let her have her wakeel and a witness on her side.
Tattoo
Question: Is it Haraam to have tattoos and why because I have both my nose and ears pierced but have been taught this is ok and also I have heard there is a tattoo which only last up 2 8 months and another for 8 years can I have them done???
Answer: Sahih Al-Bukhari HadithHadith 7.816 Narrated byHumaid bin Abdur Rahman bin Auf that in the year he performed Hajj, he heard Mu’awiya bin Abi Sufyan, who was on the pulpit and was taking a tuft of hair from one of his guards, saying, “Where are your religious learned men? I heard Allah’s Apostle forbidding this (false hair) and saying, ‘The children of Israel were destroyed when their women started using this.’ “ Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “Allah has cursed the lady who artificially lengthens (her or someone else’s) hair and the one who gets her hair lengthened and the one who tattoos (herself or someone else) and the one who gets herself tattooed.”
Girl Friend
Question: Does Islam allow to have a girl friend? Are lovers allowed to spend time together? Which kind of marriage Islam prefers arranged marriage or love marriage?
Answer: Lovers are allowed to spend time together - but through marriage. Love marriage is permissible- arranged marriage is recommended- forced marriage is prohibited and gay lovers/marriages are not permissible
April 2006
PAKISTANI
WANTS TO MARRY BENGALI GIRL
Question:
Asalaamu Alaikum, I have a situation where by I am Pakistani and I want to marry a Bengali girl. I practice Islam, I read 5 times a day and over the past 6 months have increasingly tried to adapt my life so I can become a better Muslim.
Alhumdulillah due to the power of prayer I have got along better with my parents than I can ever remember. My family have issues concerning the girl because she is not a Pakistani girl, and the same with the girl. I want to marry her but the family has an issue that I am Pakistani. I have attempted to explain to my family that the importance is not on reputation and cast but religion is what is important. This does not seem to take any effect. I have done Ishtakhara and Alhumdulillah everything was positive. What would you suggest I should do next? Is there anything particular that I should read. I will still be trying but I hope you can help. Allah Knows Best. Wasalaam Alaikum .Answer:
WA ALAIKUM ASSALAAM W.B., Alhamdulillaah, now that you have received a positive answer from Istikhara, you should pray Tahajjud and ask Allaah to change your parents mind away from this disease which is a false pride that satan uses to corrupt the minds of some people. Try to get someone with Imaan / Faith who would speak to your parents and educate them on the aspect that it is un- Islamic to have this Pakistani - Bangladeshi barrier among themselves. In fact, they should exemplify the fact that they are first Muslims and then Pakistanis or Bangladeshis. It is very sad and unfortunate to know that there are still some so-called educated Muslims in Europe and the USA who tarnish Islam and the Muslim world with this, Arab, Caribbean, Pakistani - Bangladeshi racial practices.
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